The class this morning stimulated a lively discussion on the board, and it sounds as if most people get defensive when receiving feedback.
Why is that?? After all feedback is meant to be non-judgemental, non-degrading,neutral and objective. So why are most of us wary of feedback? Is it because the person giving the feedback lacks the necessary verbal skills and we are scared it is going to hurt us? or is it because in the past the feedback we have been given was actually "criticism" in disguise and was only given when something did not go according to plan?
I must admit when someone asks me "May I give you some feedback?" my gut instinct immediately is "what did I do wrong? I have to consciously step back and remind myself that the CHOICE is MINE as to whether I accept it, reject it or ask for further clarification.
What makes for good feedback?
1.Given at the right TIME.
2.Appropriate language is used
3.Not degrading
4.It is non-judgemental, no opinion is voiced, and not critical
5.There is an appropriate strategy to work on things, and an answer to the question "Where to from here?"
Why is that?? After all feedback is meant to be non-judgemental, non-degrading,neutral and objective. So why are most of us wary of feedback? Is it because the person giving the feedback lacks the necessary verbal skills and we are scared it is going to hurt us? or is it because in the past the feedback we have been given was actually "criticism" in disguise and was only given when something did not go according to plan?
I must admit when someone asks me "May I give you some feedback?" my gut instinct immediately is "what did I do wrong? I have to consciously step back and remind myself that the CHOICE is MINE as to whether I accept it, reject it or ask for further clarification.
What makes for good feedback?
1.Given at the right TIME.
2.Appropriate language is used
3.Not degrading
4.It is non-judgemental, no opinion is voiced, and not critical
5.There is an appropriate strategy to work on things, and an answer to the question "Where to from here?"
Hi Anita,
I was on the feedback call at ICA too. I had some thoughts on the kind of feedback I like receive and to give. I saw your post on the discussion board. Here are my thoughts, would love your opinion. You can post to my blog if you like, under the section on feedback. It's www.acting4life.wordpress.com.
Part of what I love about being coached is that I get feedback from someone in an objective role who has a 'bird's eye view.'
I'm thinking Feedback (in coaching) looks like this:
Questions... how, what, etc
Analysis/observation... it seems....
Metaphor... this makes me think of the story of... it's like...
Repetition of what's just been said by the client... what I'm hearing is.....
Each one can of course be turned into a question.
Questions... (already in form of question)
Analysis... (Is it that you are feeling/thinking such and such...?)
Metaphor... (Have you heard the story of.....how might that be applicable here?)
Repetition...(It sounds like I heard you say....is that correct?)
Lucy McBride