I have a client at present who is in the midst of a personal crisis, so the focus of our conversations have shifted from creating the ideal life to making sense out of what she is going through.

When I first heard about it I felt overwhelmed, I offered her my unconditional support and suggested that if she felt coaching was not appropriate I was okay with the idea that she may want to see a counsellor and we could continue coaching when she felt ready.
She asked for some time to think about it, and later came to me with her decision. Yes, she was going see a counsellor, however, she "wanted to run some things past me first"
We have had three conversations since. Each time, I LISTENED fully, I MIRRORED back to her what I had heard her say, I AKNOWLEDGED her for her efforts so far and for what she had achieved in her life, I created a SAFE SPACE for her to vent her feelings.
I did not use any fancy techniques, tools etc, nothing but the most basic coaching principles. I started having my doubts as to whether this was of any use to her,whether a friend would have been just as good.
Yesterday, she sat down with me and said: "I hope you realise just how good this coaching has been for me" When I asked her to tell me in what way it helped, she mentioned things like " You dO not take sides, you do not tell me what to do, you make me feel good about myself"

Thank you!! I really needed to hear this.

the question of whether one feels ready to coach came up the other day in our career CoP class and it is one that I can identify with. How will I know when I am ready? Will I ever be ready? or will I always feel that I will have to wait till I know more, practised more etc? and how can I practise more if I dont coach?

A couple of days ago on one of my runs I had what felt like an AHA moment. Is my running perfect- NO, Will it ever be perfect? OF course NOT, I still keep reading running mags for inspiration and for tips on improving, form, efficiency, etc.
In the meantime I have been running for 15 years or so, I have taken part in many races,distances from 10 km to Half-marathons and now in the last 3 years I have run and successfully completed 3 full marathons in respectable time and without injury.I have also along the way motivated friends and collegues to do the same. And I have enjoyed it all.

It is quite obvious to see what would have happened had I waited till I could run perfectly, and I knew all there is to know about running.

I WOULD STILL BE WAITING FOR THE PERFECT TIME!!

In the meantime I would have missed out on so much, my "chatterbox" carried on talking and tried to answer the question: Will I ever feel that I know it all?
Well, hopefully not, being in the STATE of knowing it all is a DANGEROUS place to be, as, when you know it all there is nothing more to learn and STAGNATION sets in.

So I guess I have to be happy with not knowing it all,coach in the meantime, and be honest with myself and my client to say "I don't know, let's see what we can come up with together" and maintain my thirst for more learning alive.

Any comments from coaches or clients are very welcome.

I am feeling rather lazy this Sunday morning, I know I should go for a run as I definitely need one, however I am using all the delay tactics avaliable to me. My daughter who loves shopping is here with me and I suggested we go and do some retail therapy instead. Her response surprized me: "How are you feeling now?" she asks me, "Oh, lethargic, sluggish" is my response. "Well, How will you feel after your run?" she asks me? "I will feel at peace with myself and happier". So, Why are you delaying the feeling of happiness? Why dont you run first and you can take me shopping later? mmm.... Stephanie is no life coach and she is 14 years old, maybe she just knows me too well!

I guess I will have to run and take her shopping later.

The class this morning stimulated a lively discussion on the board, and it sounds as if most people get defensive when receiving feedback.

Why is that?? After all feedback is meant to be non-judgemental, non-degrading,neutral and objective. So why are most of us wary of feedback? Is it because the person giving the feedback lacks the necessary verbal skills and we are scared it is going to hurt us? or is it because in the past the feedback we have been given was actually "criticism" in disguise and was only given when something did not go according to plan?

I must admit when someone asks me "May I give you some feedback?" my gut instinct immediately is "what did I do wrong? I have to consciously step back and remind myself that the CHOICE is MINE as to whether I accept it, reject it or ask for further clarification.

What makes for good feedback?

1.Given at the right TIME.

2.Appropriate language is used

3.Not degrading

4.It is non-judgemental, no opinion is voiced, and not critical

5.There is an appropriate strategy to work on things, and an answer to the question "Where to from here?"

I have just returned from a 2 week laid-back beach holiday, the weather was excellent, the sun shone everyday and the views of the ocean and the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks below the house made me believe that I was waking up in paradise each morning. We were so relaxed that the biggest decisions we had to make were how would we spend the day? what to eat and where? We also had no internet so laptops got left behind and the family had to resort to ordinary old fashioned communication. What a pleasure!! we totally chilled.

Coming back I thought I would be full of blogging ideas and I am a little disappointed to find that my mental and physical relaxation has not translated into increased creativity, I have been staring at this blog for three days and could not come up with anything to write until a suggestion from my peer coach today that I blog about the holiday. Thanks, Rachel, Why do I think this is so? Is it the old FEAR of being JUDGED by people reading the blog, my writing is not good enough? Am I providing VALUE to others?

I am not quite sure what the answer is but it is certainly a disconcerting feeling which hopefully I will be able to work through as my thoughts get into a coaching mood again.