My apologies for rugby talk on a coaching blog. I live in New Zealand and our national rugby team is the almighty All Blacks!!
In the last week I have been amused many times while listening to the news on TV and hearing about the "reconditioned" ALL BLACKS. I have asked friends and family as to what that means, and, not satisfied with the answers I have been getting, I resorted to the dictionary to look at the meaning of "reconditioned".
"Reconditioned" means to "make useful again", Wow!! How do you make so many guys "useful again"? Were they ever not useful? and in what way? I wonder.
Was life coaching part of the "reconditioning" process??
In the last week I have been amused many times while listening to the news on TV and hearing about the "reconditioned" ALL BLACKS. I have asked friends and family as to what that means, and, not satisfied with the answers I have been getting, I resorted to the dictionary to look at the meaning of "reconditioned".
"Reconditioned" means to "make useful again", Wow!! How do you make so many guys "useful again"? Were they ever not useful? and in what way? I wonder.
Was life coaching part of the "reconditioning" process??
What is "value" in coaching ? The oxford dictionary explains it as the "worth", the "desirability", also the "ability of something to serve a purpose or cause an effect".
How do I know that I am giving "value" to my clients? and how do I quantify it? At times it seems easy, goals are set, structures and action plans are put into place, the goal is achieved and everyone feels good. Other times, when all I do is listen, listen some more, release any agenda, any judgement that I may have and ask a few questions, Have I provided any value?
And who gets to decide whether I have provided value or not, me or the client?
How do I know that I am giving "value" to my clients? and how do I quantify it? At times it seems easy, goals are set, structures and action plans are put into place, the goal is achieved and everyone feels good. Other times, when all I do is listen, listen some more, release any agenda, any judgement that I may have and ask a few questions, Have I provided any value?
And who gets to decide whether I have provided value or not, me or the client?
In yet another of Bill's magnificent class today we discussed responding vs reacting, What is the difference?
Well, reacting is normal for humans, it is automatic, off the cuff, knee-jerk,it is based on anxiety and fear, assumptions and judgement play a big role in reacting. Responding on the other hand is the opposite. It happens when one has suspended judgement, is fully conscious and is prepared to listen. To respond, according to Bill, is to engage the brain before engaging the mouth!! I like that and I shall remember that next time my mouth opens.
So, it appears that responding is good and reacting is all bad, or is it? Are there good reactions? of course, happy reactions, joy, laughter,celebrations, and, let us not forget the emergency situations where quick rections become necessary.
How do we convert a possible reaction to a response:
1.A deep breath, may be all that is necessary to give you the space.
2.Silence
3.Recognize that we are human and have compassion on ourselves.
Well, reacting is normal for humans, it is automatic, off the cuff, knee-jerk,it is based on anxiety and fear, assumptions and judgement play a big role in reacting. Responding on the other hand is the opposite. It happens when one has suspended judgement, is fully conscious and is prepared to listen. To respond, according to Bill, is to engage the brain before engaging the mouth!! I like that and I shall remember that next time my mouth opens.
So, it appears that responding is good and reacting is all bad, or is it? Are there good reactions? of course, happy reactions, joy, laughter,celebrations, and, let us not forget the emergency situations where quick rections become necessary.
How do we convert a possible reaction to a response:
1.A deep breath, may be all that is necessary to give you the space.
2.Silence
3.Recognize that we are human and have compassion on ourselves.
I decided to name my coaching practice "Perfect Balance" a while ago as I felt I had achieved that enviable state of inner peace and perfect balance. I felt at peace with myself and the world, and I wanted to help others do the same.
Nothing major has changed in my life in the past couple of weeks and yet I feel that the pendulum keeps swinging back and forth from the point of balance. Why is that? I am still the same person, my life circumstances are still the same, I still have the same loving family then why do I feel like my life is out of kilter? And, more important how do I bring balance back again, as I am not happy in this state.
I tried to analyse the reasons why, and I realised that an insidious process had started taking place. I had had a few extra night calls in anaesthesia, this led to me feeling tired due to lack of sleep, I stopped running and exercising as I was too tired, this then started a vicious cycle of tiredness, comfort eating and grumpiness, and while nothing major had occurred my whole life had changed in 2 weeks and I did not like the change. What I find amazing is that I went from "perfect balance" to loss of control in a short time and without realising it!
After a discussion with Rachel(my wonderful peer coach) today I decided to put an action plan into place to regain my equilibrium and yes, you have guessed correctly, I will start running again and everything else will fall into place.
Nothing major has changed in my life in the past couple of weeks and yet I feel that the pendulum keeps swinging back and forth from the point of balance. Why is that? I am still the same person, my life circumstances are still the same, I still have the same loving family then why do I feel like my life is out of kilter? And, more important how do I bring balance back again, as I am not happy in this state.
I tried to analyse the reasons why, and I realised that an insidious process had started taking place. I had had a few extra night calls in anaesthesia, this led to me feeling tired due to lack of sleep, I stopped running and exercising as I was too tired, this then started a vicious cycle of tiredness, comfort eating and grumpiness, and while nothing major had occurred my whole life had changed in 2 weeks and I did not like the change. What I find amazing is that I went from "perfect balance" to loss of control in a short time and without realising it!
After a discussion with Rachel(my wonderful peer coach) today I decided to put an action plan into place to regain my equilibrium and yes, you have guessed correctly, I will start running again and everything else will fall into place.
"You create all your life circumstances, whether consciously or unconsciously" says Merci in this mornings class. Thank you Merci, I love how you share your life and coaching experience with us.
Now why do I love this statement so much? Well, if I am responsible for creating my life circumstances then surely, If I do not like what I have created I can re-create!!
Is this an AHA or what?
What a powerful perspective.
Now why do I love this statement so much? Well, if I am responsible for creating my life circumstances then surely, If I do not like what I have created I can re-create!!
Is this an AHA or what?
What a powerful perspective.
