The other day my teenage daughter asked me if we would allow her to go skiing for a few days next week with a school friend and her family. My initial reaction was NO! I did not think it was a good idea, all sorts of injuries and negative thoughts entered my head and of course I would miss her too much! So it was better she stayed home with us.
My husband listening to our conversation stopped my thoughts in their track when he asked WHY NOT? Well, as much as I tried to find an answer I realised that I could find no logical reason and had to admit that if we spoke to the friends parents and were happy with the arrangements then we could allow her to go.
What do i owe my initial reaction to? I CARE about my child and want to protect her and want to make sure nothing bad happens to her.
That same day I received an email from "Heartmath" once again the universe responding to my needs. According to "Heartmath" care is a good thing, however if you look at the meaning of care in the dictionary it talks about a state of mind in which one is troubled, worry, anxiety or concern. I suppose it makes sense, How often do you worry about something or someone you do not care about?
"If what you care about is causing you stress then it could be that you have crossed the line from care to overcare!" WOW! This is exactly what has happened to me in this situation!
"We have all been at the receiving end of overcare, writes Heartmath, the overbearing parent who do what they do because they say, and believe, that they care.In actual fact this care has been taken to extremes and turned into overcare. Overcaring is a huge drain on all concerned and one of the most common sources of stress." And overcaring can lead to burnout, where we stop caring altogether.
What tips does "Heartmath" have for us:
Get back to balanced care. Ask yourself the question "What would be a more efficient attitude or action that would reduce my stress and get me back to balanced care?"
Thank you Heartmath, you must have had me in mind when you wrote that article
My husband listening to our conversation stopped my thoughts in their track when he asked WHY NOT? Well, as much as I tried to find an answer I realised that I could find no logical reason and had to admit that if we spoke to the friends parents and were happy with the arrangements then we could allow her to go.
What do i owe my initial reaction to? I CARE about my child and want to protect her and want to make sure nothing bad happens to her.
That same day I received an email from "Heartmath" once again the universe responding to my needs. According to "Heartmath" care is a good thing, however if you look at the meaning of care in the dictionary it talks about a state of mind in which one is troubled, worry, anxiety or concern. I suppose it makes sense, How often do you worry about something or someone you do not care about?
"If what you care about is causing you stress then it could be that you have crossed the line from care to overcare!" WOW! This is exactly what has happened to me in this situation!
"We have all been at the receiving end of overcare, writes Heartmath, the overbearing parent who do what they do because they say, and believe, that they care.In actual fact this care has been taken to extremes and turned into overcare. Overcaring is a huge drain on all concerned and one of the most common sources of stress." And overcaring can lead to burnout, where we stop caring altogether.
What tips does "Heartmath" have for us:
Get back to balanced care. Ask yourself the question "What would be a more efficient attitude or action that would reduce my stress and get me back to balanced care?"
Thank you Heartmath, you must have had me in mind when you wrote that article
0 Responses to “Care or overcare?”
Post a Comment