The season of letting go
32 Comments Published by Anna T. on Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 6:48 PM.
It is over a year since I last wrote in this blog. It has been a year of "ups" and "downs" like I would never have imagined. I was busy concentrating on maintaining my "inner peace" when the carpet was pulled out from under my feet and I had to face issues I had never encountered before. My "perfect balance" which I place great value on not only disappeared but the pendulum swung so far in the other direction that I felt drained both emotionally and physically and had no idea how I was going to cope. Normally when something like this happens I dig deep and manage to find inner resources to pick myself up. This time not only were there issues at work but my husband and I had to deal with the issues of our teenage daughter trying to assert her independence, learning to drive, feeling invincible and what every parent dreads to hear : their kid has been involved in a car crash. Fortunately nobody was injured and all are alive to tell the tale. This did however lead to us questioning ourselves: Have we been too lenient with allowing her to use the car? Should we have been stricter? Have we let go too much too soon? Have we not let go enough? and so on and so on.
Teenagers unfortunately do not come with "how to handle me manual" We kept telling ourselves through all this that we were doing what we thought was best for our child at the time, however the niggling doubt was always there.
No sooner had we weathered this storm and almost found balance and inner peace again, when our beloved pet,Nibbles, (yes the same dog that encountered the cow while walking on a mountain close to home and had to have neurosurgery 2 years ago) beautiful boxer, our companion and friend became ill. Initially it was a vague illness lost some weight, looked tired and depressed some days other days he would be okay. The vet diagnosed pancreatitis and to cut a long story short after a few weeks of suffering we had to make the most difficult decision that I felt we have ever had to make and that was to help our beautiful furbaby make the transition to his other life.
I am still raw inside and cannot adequately describe what we experienced. My husband and I were with him throughout we held him and cradled him in our arms all the time thanking him for the wonderful 11 years he had given us. I then felt him let go of me. Sadly I knew it was time for me to let go of him.
I cried for days after that. I felt a sadness deep inside that I thought was never going to heal. However with the help of family and friends and collegues, I am now able to smile when I think of Nibbles. I still feel sad and cry but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
RIP my baby and thank you for being a wonderful companion and teaching us so many things amongst which is unconditional love. Miss you lots.
Teenagers unfortunately do not come with "how to handle me manual" We kept telling ourselves through all this that we were doing what we thought was best for our child at the time, however the niggling doubt was always there.
No sooner had we weathered this storm and almost found balance and inner peace again, when our beloved pet,Nibbles, (yes the same dog that encountered the cow while walking on a mountain close to home and had to have neurosurgery 2 years ago) beautiful boxer, our companion and friend became ill. Initially it was a vague illness lost some weight, looked tired and depressed some days other days he would be okay. The vet diagnosed pancreatitis and to cut a long story short after a few weeks of suffering we had to make the most difficult decision that I felt we have ever had to make and that was to help our beautiful furbaby make the transition to his other life.
I am still raw inside and cannot adequately describe what we experienced. My husband and I were with him throughout we held him and cradled him in our arms all the time thanking him for the wonderful 11 years he had given us. I then felt him let go of me. Sadly I knew it was time for me to let go of him.
I cried for days after that. I felt a sadness deep inside that I thought was never going to heal. However with the help of family and friends and collegues, I am now able to smile when I think of Nibbles. I still feel sad and cry but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
RIP my baby and thank you for being a wonderful companion and teaching us so many things amongst which is unconditional love. Miss you lots.
Yesterday, I graduated with the title CPC from ICA! This is the end of what has been an amazing journey of growth and self discovery, I learnt so much about myself and others that I cannot imagine what my life would be now had I not undergone my journey.
I acknowledge every one who has been part of my journey, clients, fellow students, coaches, trainers and admin staff at ICA. Without you this would not have been possible!
The end of this journey is the start of another one,throughout my course I explored what most felt right for me to do with my life coaching skills, and, now I think I have a fairly good idea.
I have created my ideal life in this process, I have discarded, tweaked, added, reframed pespectives and whatever else I felt was appropriate in order to create the inner peace that I so longed for, and to be honest I feel that I have achieved this about 80-90% of the time, so I am pretty content with that.
Where to from here?? I am marketing myself as a coach for health professionals and their families, my mission and purpose in life is to work with these people (like my former self) and help them to see the "light" as I have. I would like to show them that a career in medicine does not necessarily mean stress, long working hours and no balance.
It is possible to have your cake and eat it!!!
I acknowledge every one who has been part of my journey, clients, fellow students, coaches, trainers and admin staff at ICA. Without you this would not have been possible!
The end of this journey is the start of another one,throughout my course I explored what most felt right for me to do with my life coaching skills, and, now I think I have a fairly good idea.
I have created my ideal life in this process, I have discarded, tweaked, added, reframed pespectives and whatever else I felt was appropriate in order to create the inner peace that I so longed for, and to be honest I feel that I have achieved this about 80-90% of the time, so I am pretty content with that.
Where to from here?? I am marketing myself as a coach for health professionals and their families, my mission and purpose in life is to work with these people (like my former self) and help them to see the "light" as I have. I would like to show them that a career in medicine does not necessarily mean stress, long working hours and no balance.
It is possible to have your cake and eat it!!!
Supervised coach is now sadly over. I so enjoyed the 6 weeks. The support of the group was just great and of course as I mentioned earlier Jamee was wonderful!!
I am now a certified professional coach!! wow! it has taken me long enough, however I have learnt and grown so much in the last 2 and a half years that I have forgotten what I was about prior to coaching.
The question now : What do I do with this new title ? I need to do some serious work in planning my future, but, in the meantime I am enjoying just "being" , enjoying my family and home and to celebrate I am off to Sydney for the weekend!! part shopping and part course, I have registered for the PCSI (PERSONAL COACHING STYLE INVENTORY)which will be on Saturday and the rest will be shopping with Stephanie (my teenage daughter). When I get back then I have graduation with ICA to look forward to!
Are you in the habit of celebrating all your achievements? How do you celebrate?
I am now a certified professional coach!! wow! it has taken me long enough, however I have learnt and grown so much in the last 2 and a half years that I have forgotten what I was about prior to coaching.
The question now : What do I do with this new title ? I need to do some serious work in planning my future, but, in the meantime I am enjoying just "being" , enjoying my family and home and to celebrate I am off to Sydney for the weekend!! part shopping and part course, I have registered for the PCSI (PERSONAL COACHING STYLE INVENTORY)which will be on Saturday and the rest will be shopping with Stephanie (my teenage daughter). When I get back then I have graduation with ICA to look forward to!
Are you in the habit of celebrating all your achievements? How do you celebrate?
A lot has happened since my last post. I registered for supervised coach and suddenly things started happening. I finished all my other written assignments, and handed them in, 9 in all!! I was delighted to get 88% for my research project! I suppose I could have done better with be project, but hey, if I had waited till it was perfect I would still be waiting.
SC started in the first week of April and it is almost over. I was quite anxious at the beginning, the nagging doubt "am I good enough?" and, "where am I going to find clients?" formed the bulk of my internal chatter. I have now coached 4 times and have been a client twice, and all I can say is that it is an amazing experience.
Jamee Tenzer our facilitator, has provided a huge safe space for us to practise our coaching and her feedback after the sessions is awesome. What I appreciate most about Jamee not only does she acknowledge all the good things she notices, she is quite direct in telling us what not to do! This gives the learning experience a great boost, it has pushed me to the point where I have taken risks and experimented knowing that if it was not good I would be told. Does this make sense?
SC started in the first week of April and it is almost over. I was quite anxious at the beginning, the nagging doubt "am I good enough?" and, "where am I going to find clients?" formed the bulk of my internal chatter. I have now coached 4 times and have been a client twice, and all I can say is that it is an amazing experience.
Jamee Tenzer our facilitator, has provided a huge safe space for us to practise our coaching and her feedback after the sessions is awesome. What I appreciate most about Jamee not only does she acknowledge all the good things she notices, she is quite direct in telling us what not to do! This gives the learning experience a great boost, it has pushed me to the point where I have taken risks and experimented knowing that if it was not good I would be told. Does this make sense?
I eventually plucked up courage and pressed the send button on my computer and submitted my written exam, my power tool, my self assessment and my client feedback forms to ICA for assessment and much to my surprise I got 97% for my written exam!!Well I am delighted!! NOW FOR SUPERVISED COACHING, I havent got any clients to join me for SC but I trust that they will come along at the right time like everything else that has happened in my life.
Feel the fear and do it anyway!!
1 Comments Published by Anna T. on Friday, March 13, 2009 at 9:31 PM.
I have eventually plucked up the courage to register for supervised coach in April and am at the moment going through all the other assessments and checking them before submitting them to ICA.
I kept procrastinating with all sorts of excuses, I need more practice....etc...My power tool is not perfect yet, my model not good enough, I still need to read and reread my research project.....etc. Eventually I just faced my demons and had to admit to myself that if I carried on like this I would never get to the point of perfection, When would everything be perfect to hand in? and, how would I know when it is all perfect? I looked at my past behaviour and noticed some similarities: I have never ever felt perfectly prepared for any major exam I have done and yet I passed them all. So I took the plunge and decided to "Feel the fear and do it anyway" !
I even registered for June graduation, now that is a real vote of confidence in myself!!
I kept procrastinating with all sorts of excuses, I need more practice....etc...My power tool is not perfect yet, my model not good enough, I still need to read and reread my research project.....etc. Eventually I just faced my demons and had to admit to myself that if I carried on like this I would never get to the point of perfection, When would everything be perfect to hand in? and, how would I know when it is all perfect? I looked at my past behaviour and noticed some similarities: I have never ever felt perfectly prepared for any major exam I have done and yet I passed them all. So I took the plunge and decided to "Feel the fear and do it anyway" !
I even registered for June graduation, now that is a real vote of confidence in myself!!
It is once again 5 months or so since I last wrote. Nibbles is doing well and is once again a happy and trusting dog. He has put the past behind him and is living perfectly in the present, lots of walks,lots of attention anf good meals. If only humans could learn from dogs our lives would be less complicated and more enjoyable.
I, on the other hand am not doing so well. I had to stop running about 2 months ago due to an injury to my right leg and since then it has been trips to the physio, icepacks, lots of stretching. I have been irritable and unhappy not being able to exercise and certainly miss the post run good feelings. I am starting to make a come back now, even though quite slowly.
The other emotion I have had to deal with, and which I am still finding quite difficult is the slow release of parental control of my daughter. Let me explain,
Stephanie is 16 years old, and she has just in the last month obtained a drivers licence which allows her to drive unaccompanied. What I really struggle to come to terms with is that my "baby" is out there on her own in a car. Even though she does all the right things, asks permission to go out, keeps in contact constantly and lets us know exactly where she is and comes home at the right time, I still find it hard to relinquish control and stop worrying. One part of me says "trust the universe and let go" while the other wants to cling on, keep her safe at home.
Anyone out there willing to coach me on this issue?
On another note, I have decided no more procrastinating with ICA and this is the year I shall graduate. I am slowly coming to the end of the paperwork which I will need to submit, then register for Supervised Coach so hopefully by Sep at the latest I will graduate. I have not rushed through the course, I have enjoyed the journey, have learnt lots about myself and others and have had plenty of opportunity for reflection.
I, on the other hand am not doing so well. I had to stop running about 2 months ago due to an injury to my right leg and since then it has been trips to the physio, icepacks, lots of stretching. I have been irritable and unhappy not being able to exercise and certainly miss the post run good feelings. I am starting to make a come back now, even though quite slowly.
The other emotion I have had to deal with, and which I am still finding quite difficult is the slow release of parental control of my daughter. Let me explain,
Stephanie is 16 years old, and she has just in the last month obtained a drivers licence which allows her to drive unaccompanied. What I really struggle to come to terms with is that my "baby" is out there on her own in a car. Even though she does all the right things, asks permission to go out, keeps in contact constantly and lets us know exactly where she is and comes home at the right time, I still find it hard to relinquish control and stop worrying. One part of me says "trust the universe and let go" while the other wants to cling on, keep her safe at home.
Anyone out there willing to coach me on this issue?
On another note, I have decided no more procrastinating with ICA and this is the year I shall graduate. I am slowly coming to the end of the paperwork which I will need to submit, then register for Supervised Coach so hopefully by Sep at the latest I will graduate. I have not rushed through the course, I have enjoyed the journey, have learnt lots about myself and others and have had plenty of opportunity for reflection.
